Online Support Group 09/09/2011

This blog is to provide information and support to victims of domestic violence and sexual assault, as well as anyone wishing to know more about these issues. Topics will vary from week to week. There will also be news of upcoming events and other happenings with the FVC.

In the coming weeks we would like to make this the spot for our online support group. If there is a topic you would like to discuss leave us a comment or email us at fvc@fvcyancey.com and we will try to get it on here as soon as possible.

This weeks topic is:  Domestic Abuse: What is it?

Domestic abuse is defined as a pattern of sexual, physical, emotional and/or financial abuse, perpetrated with the intent and result of establishing and maintaining control over an intimate partner. 

National statistics show that:

• 1 in 4 women have been a victim of domestic abuse.
• 1 in 33 men have been victim of domestic abuse.
• Women account for 85% of the victims of intimate partner violence.
• Men account for 15% of the victims of intimate partner violence.
• Approximately 1 in 5 female high school reports being physically or sexually abused by a dating partner.
• One in five teens in a serious relationship reports having been hit, slapped, or pushed by a partner
• 14% of teens report their boyfriend/girlfriend threatened to harm them or themselves to avoid a breakup.
• Domestic violence can happen in any relationship, regardless of ethnic group, income level, religion, education, or sexual orientation.

Statistics are from the Center for Disease Control, Intimate Partner Violence:
http://www.cdc.gov/ViolencePrevention/intimatepartnerviolence/index.html

The diagram below gives examples of ways that abusers control their partners:

How do you know for sure if you are in an abusive relationship? Following is a list of questions, can you answer yes to any of these?

Has your partner:

       hit/slapped you with open hand

       assaulted you when pregnant

       punched you with fist            

       pulled your hair

       kicked you

       pushed or shoved you

       hit you with object

       knocked you to the floor

       stomped on you

       twisted your arm

       burned you

       strangled you

What types of injuries have you received as a result of the physical abuse?

       broken bones

       black eyes

       cuts or knife wounds

       bruises

       burns

Which of these has your partner done to you:

       kept you away from friends/ family

       kept you from attending school/ church or from working

       called you names such as bitch/slut/worthless/stupid

       accused you of having an affair

       won’t let you go anywhere alone

       won’t let you use the car

       tells you how to wear your hair/makeup and how to dress

       makes you ask for money for household necessities

       won’t let you take the children when you leave

       accuses you of being a bad parent

       threatens to call DSS if you leave

       destroys your property

       makes threatening gestures

       drives in a scary way while you and/or children are in car

Has your partner:

       made you engage in sexual acts against your will

       forced you to have sex/ raped you

       degraded you in sexual ways

       hurt you in front of the children

       hurt you while children in another room

       threatened the family pet

       killed the family pet

       threatened your/ your family’s life

       threatened suicide

If you can answer yes to 5 or more of these questions you may be in an abusive relationship.

If you or anyone you know is in an abusive relationship and needs someone to talk to please call us at:

828.682.0056.

Someone is always here to listen 24 hours a day 7 days a week - all calls are confidential

Our next topic will be "Warning signs of an abusive personality."